花季...

十五岁......是人生中的一次花季......

我渴望拥有美丽的花季。因此，我希望能创造自己的天地并且享受我应该拥有的快乐。
这时，我更希望我周围的朋友们也能拥有快乐的花季，因为我不忍心看见他们以后说起初三时只能唉声叹气。我希望我们大家能带着美好的回忆踏入高中。我希望在我的回忆录中能多收一些甜蜜的事儿。

因此，我开始在茫茫的生活宇宙中寻觅我梦想中的快乐天堂。终于，我找到了。但，我看见我周围的朋友们都还没有找到。我亲眼看着他们挣扎，渴望挣脱肩上重重的负担。我看见他们多少个月以来一直紧锁着的眉头，没有一丝真实的微笑。我忽然有新的梦想。我梦想中的快乐天堂多了不少人。他们是我周围的朋友。这时，我又必须重新寻觅这个快乐天堂。

忽然，我觉得这个天堂好像离我非常遥远，我必须很努力，很努力地探索。我还得费好多，好多的力气，好长，好长的时间才能找着。不过，我还没有放弃。我发现我周围的朋友们眼中的天堂和我不一样。我觉得他们眼中的天堂好像比我的还遥远。

我惊讶的发现我梦想的快乐天堂已经被这个尘世的虚荣心，傲慢心，妒忌心...玷污了。我周围的朋友并不那么渴望我所渴望的快乐。老师说没有经历过就不会懂得珍惜。开始的时候，我并不引以为然。我认为我可以做到珍惜还没失去的东西。可是，现实并不是这样的，就算我懂得珍惜，也不一定有机会珍惜，因为我可能连拥有的机会都没有。现在，我发现当只有我一个人想要挽留美好的一切时，一切就变得很沉重，扛也扛不起，留也留不住。我只能望着它远去的背影，在独处落泪。

我渴望快乐，因此，我不快乐。矛盾，矛盾，还是矛盾。所以，我可以开始追寻另一种快乐了，一种类似“放下”的快乐...

Friends...

Friendship is amazing. Sometimes, it's really hard to say or to describe.I love having friends but I hate being betrayed by friends.So, I have been very prudent while making friends.That's why I don't have many friends.(What I mean here is genuine friends).I believe genuine friends are not easy to find.If you have got your genuine friends, please treasure them.

As for me, friendship is important. Years ago, when I was young, I don't believe that I can have friends. I love my family only. I live in my very own world. My spirit lives in some kind of solitude.Somehow, someone managed to help me open the door of solitude. It led me to a better world, a flowering world which I am staying now.

Now, I have friends. I treat them well but I don't think they have to treat me in the same way. I treat them as genuine friends but I don't care if they see me as their enemy.It's not important at all for me now. If it still bothers me, I would definitely imprison myself in solitude again.

Recently, I found a new theory for myself. I can't be too engrossed in friendships. If I pay lots of my attention in them, I can easily lost myself. It's very dangerous. I would be suffering when it disappears suddenly. I am too weak to convince myself to forget happy memories. So, I have to keep a watchful eye on my own emotions. I shouldn't be too delighted. I can't let myself intoxicated in overwhelming happiness.

However, I still want to have friends. I still want to be happy...

Endings...

Do you like movies?Do you like novels?Do you like stories?If you like, what kind of endings you prefer?

I don't like endings.I don't like either happy endings or sad endings.They would definitely make me sad.For example,Romeo and Juliet, a quite sad story,has frustrated me for a few days after reading.It is because I have tried to imagine if there is "Romeo and Juliet 2" although it's impossible.

In a similar way, if any parties or gatherings I like comes to the end, I will certainly try to leave early. I don't like the goodbye scenes.If I really have to see those scenes, I would have made a great effort to avoid crying.(It sounds funny,right?)

And,

do you like photos?Do you like flashing back?Do you like recalling?Do you like memories?

In the same way, I hate memories especially the happy ones.I can block sad memories quite easily but I have failed to delete happy memories.They always make my heart throbbing. Memories are painful because things don't appear twice,the same happiness would not exist again.

Do you agree?